Sunday, 21 June 2009

Had enough!

I have had enough of feeling like this, had enough of not wanting to do anything, had enough of being so very tired, had enough of it all.
I thought that I would be feeling better by now, I went to the doctors and was prescribed tablets for my depression and have been on them for 3 weeks now, but the feelings won't go away. I am sick of pretending that I feel ok, sick of having to pretend to people that I feel fine, because they just doesn't understand why I feel so shite, to be honest I don't understand why I feel like this, but I can't stop it, I try to fight it, I try to think positively, but the feelings of hopelessness come back and I just can't shake them. I am so tired, but can't sleep, I lie awake worrying about things that I know I can't change, my mind is buzzing with dark thoughts, if only I could sleep!
I have the doctors again next week, I so hope she will tell me I will be ok soon, I need to find me again, the old me where I was happy and content.

I am hoping that the next time I write here I will be feeling better, but for now I will stop.


  1. Hi Niki, I hope you are feeling better, if not you must ask your dr. to refer you to a councilor. It's very important that you speak to someone who understands where you are coming from. And yes we all feel this way at some time during our lives so take a big breath and ask for help, you really need to speak to someone, not keep it bottled up inside and pretending on the outside that your OK. Good luck Niki, keep in touch.


  2. Hi, I understand where you are coming from, its horrible. I'm in the same boat (the sinking one) and would be happy to chat to you even if its just so you dont feel like you are the only one going through this, feel free to either contact me through my blog or on UKS (hyperheavenly)